Do Not Stop, For Emergencies Only

Do Not Stop, For Emergencies Only

When I drove by this traffic sign this morning, I could not help but think that this describes the mentality of most women I know today: Do Not Stop, For Emergencies Only. Could it very possibly be the subconscious mantra of today's American woman? If you are a man reading this don't get discouraged, if you continue reading you will either get a good laugh at our expense or you may actually learn something about the species you find so desirable and intolerable at the same time.

Women can't seem to put on the brakes lately, or even cruise in neutral for that matter! The general mentality of American women today is GO, GO, GO! There is always so much we need to do. Which, by the way I challenge you to review and compare the definitions of these two words, then, revisit that "to-do" list of yours and clarify which ones you need to do versus which ones you want to do!  AND with all that "needs" to be done, we need to be perfect at it all! We need to be the perfect mothers to our children, the perfect employee or business owner, the perfect wife, girlfriend, lover, friend, the perfect children to our parents. If we stop, I'm sure most of us women feel the world will end as we know it, because who is going to pick up the slack? I'm biting my tongue here in case testosterone is flowing through my reader but I think a woman would know where I'm going with this! And no, I am not PMS'ing...why is it that every time a woman offers an opinion that a man doesn't like he asks if she is PMS'ing?!!

We are attempting to bulldoze through life lately, continuously marching on through raising children in a confusing society, maintaining healthy relationships while everyone is earning emotional baggage by the minute, and taking care of aging parents during a time when we ourselves are being stretched physically and emotionally in so many directions. We have to constantly be progressing in our careers or making money through entrepreneurial channels to maintain our independence, significance and livelihood. And all the while, don't forget, we need to stay healthy, fit and attractive because as a woman we are still initially judged by our looks. Well, in reality, I will be the first to admit that we judge ourselves more than anyone else does.

If all this wasn't enough, our expectations are monumental in being eager to constantly improve ourselves spiritually, mentally and physically. Woman typically are harder on themselves than anyone else would be. Is it not frequently that you hear a woman say things like "I need to lose weight,  I need to spend more quality time with my children, I need to be more desirable to my husband, I need to keep the house cleaner, I need to make more money"? If you are a man, you may not hear a woman actually say this but instead you may see her act grouchy, lash out for the tiniest thing or she may criticize you. The truth is women sometimes act intolerable to mask feelings of inadequacy and hurt that we impose upon ourselves.

So I am going to give away my age here, (but I was young...very VERY young!!), when a TV commercial for a perfume called Enjolie came out. The tune to that commercial to this day still rings in my ears when I am embraced with the "I can do it all!" feeling. The lyrics went like this:

I can put the wash on the line,

Feed the kids, get dressed,

pass out the kisses

and get to work by five to nine.

I can bring home the bacon,

fry it up in a pan

and never, never, never let you forget your a man.......cause I'm a woman.....Enjoli.

I think those lyrics sum it all up, wouldn't you say? What is it that makes women in today's society feel they NEED to do everything and do it PERFECTLY? What are we trying to prove?! Would we ever be so harsh on anyone as we are to ourselves? There will be no time to breath, you can not stop, unless there is an emergency. And that emergency amounts to being physically worn down. That is the point where your body shuts down and is pretty much yelling at you saying "Hey lady! Enough is enough already!! Slow the $%# down!"

I smirk at myself as I write this and glance over to a notepad where I had jotted down a list of things I think I should be doing to improve my life as I was feeling very disappointed in myself for my recent lack of follow through. Ironically it is titled "Being Perfect"! Apparently I am no different. Is it not in flaws and imperfections that beauty is found? Oh oh, that 21st century voice in my head just shouted in response "Not in this world, Sista!!"...and somehow I think she did a three-snaps up in z-formation while she said that!

Maybe it is just in a woman's nature to be this way. We were created with an inherent desire and ability to nurture, to take care of those around us. Inherently for men, this is precisely one of the characteristics that draws them to women. And if a man has one up on all his buddies, he knows that a way to a woman's heart is to nurture and take care of her. I don't care how big of a feminist you are, deep down inside there is a warmth that fills the female soul when she feels she is appreciated for all that she does, that she is desired, that she is loved and that she is cared for.

Elizabeth Gould Davis was quoted to say: "To the "feminist" of both sexes, femininity is synonymous with the eternal female principle, connoting strength, integrity, wisdom, justice, dependability, and a psychic power foreign and therefore dangerous to the plodding masculists of both sexes."

For every woman (and man) who dedicates their life to adhering to these principles, I applaud you. In the same breath, I would like to say that I think we all need to be reminded to forgive ourselves for not being perfect once in a while. Maybe we could forgive ourselves for sending our child off to school with a tiny stain on their shirt for one day. What is more important is that they feel loved and protected. Maybe we can forgive oursleves for earning those pesty fine lines around our eyes. Instead maybe we could praise ourselves in the mirror in gratitude of being in this world for another day.  Maybe we can excuse ourselves for being too tired when our other half was very indiscreetly fantasizing that we were his favorite Victoria Secret model. What's more important is that on the toughest days you and your better half can still find ways to laugh together.

All I'm saying is....Don't wait for the emergency, it's ok to stop once in a while.